The PAL System

The PAL System (Pervy Activity Liaison)YellowKid

In order to help maintain a safer, trusting and responsible playspace, to ensure all guests have the support and solidarity of a friend at the event, and to discourage Wanky McJerkoffs lurking in the shadows, we use a technique called the Pervy Activity Liaison, or PAL system.

Whatever your gender and no matter how you identify, if you want to come to Kinky Salon the same rules apply to everyone:

• When you come to Kinky Salon you must bring a PAL with you

• Your PAL can be the same gender, another gender or even a couple. Up to three people can PAL each other.

•You cannot PAL someone you don’t know. You must know them and trust them.

• Your PAL does not have to be a partner or lover. Your PAL can be any friend or even a relative.

• Your PAL does not have to be an existing member of the Kinky Salon London community. Anyone can come to KSL, including those who haven't yet met anyone else from our scene.

• Your PAL does not have to sign up with our mailing list in advance. It's okay for you to buy a ticket on their behalf. But they'll only be informed about future events if they sign up or if you provide us their email address.

• Please find a PAL before buying your ticket. We cannot refund tickets just because you didn’t find a PAL or your PAL dropped out. If you absolutely must change your PAL’s name the deadline is strictly 72 hours before the party.

• Do not cruise about on Facebook, Fetlife, or any other internet social spaces looking for a PAL. Please do not ask our crew to PAL you in.

• You must arrive with your PAL and we strongly recommend leaving together. If your PAL arrives before you we'll make them wait outside.

• If anyone in the PAL group violates the code of conduct you will all be held responsible, even if one of you has left the venue.  (For more on party etiquette it’s worth reading our How To Be A Playroom Sweetheart guide)


Frequently Asked Stupid Questions about the PAL systemSailors

When do I need to decide who my PAL is?

We ask that you decide on your PAL before buying tickets to our party. It's ideal if you can buy tickets for them, but if you buy separately, we provide a form in which you can add their name so we know who is connected to who.

Kinky Salon tickets are non-refundable. If you buy a ticket (or tickets) but end up not being able to find a PAL you won’t get your money back. Tickets are only sold to approved members of our community and cannot be sold on to other people.

What if my PAL changes or drops out?

If you have bought a ticket for your PAL and they have to drop out we are able to transfer their ticket to another named person up to 72 hours before the party. By this we mean that we will change the details on the guestlist. We do not issue refunds or take new payments - you will have to arrange that between yourselves. The absolute deadline for giving us your PAL’s details is 72 hours before the party. After that we close our guestlist and are too busy to deal with last-minute changes. Only people named on the guestlist will be allowed into the party.

I am a single guy. Can my PAL be another single guy?
YES! As long as you know and trust them, you can testify to their good character and agree to keep an eye on each other, your PAL can be of any gender.

We are a couple and we have a single friend- can we bring them with us?
YES! Please do!

I am a single woman. Do I really need to bring a PAL?
YES! They can be another single of any gender, or a couple.

I am a single guy. Am I welcome?
YES! As long as you are respectful, you have read and understand the Code of Conduct, you have a PAL who you know and trust with you, and you follow the dress code by turning up in a fabulous outfit, you are welcome.

My lover and I have never been to Kinky Salon London before. Can we PAL each other?
YES! You do not need to have a PAL within the community in order to PAL each other. Up to three people can PAL each other – as long as they vouch for each other then that’s fine.

I don't know anyone who goes to Kinky Salon London - is that okay?

YES! You don't need to know existing KSL community members. Just come with a friend who you know and trust.

Does my PAL also have to sign up on your mailing list?

NO! You can buy tickets for them. But they won't receive information about our future events unless you or they give us their email address.

Can I meet someone online, arrive with them, and then go off and party?
NO! You must know your PAL, be able to testify to their good character, and trust them. To come to the event with someone you don’t know and trust is disrespectful to our community and compromises the safety of the space.

Do I need to stay with my PAL(s) at the party all night?

NO! You're welcome to party and play separately, but we encourage you to check in with each other regularly. One of the best bits about having a PAL is that you have a ready-made support network, so please make use of it!

I know someone else who is already going to Kinky Salon. If I buy tickets late, can I arrange at the last minute for them to be my PAL? 

YES! As long as they have already agreed to be your PAL and can be there to meet you at the door when you arrive.

If I arrive before my PAL can I hang out at the party till they arrive?
If you arrive without your PAL we wil ask you to wait outside until they are ready to check in with you.

Can I come with a group of three or more single PALs?
Three is the maximum number of people we allow to PAL one another. Above that you can split into separate groups of two or three to vouch for each other. But of course you are welcome to arrive together.

Why do you recommend we leave together?
The reason you should leave together is that you don’t want to be held responsible for some random person’s late night shenanigans. If you do leave without your PAL we will still hold you responsible for your PAL’s behaviour.

What happens if my PAL misbehaves?
First we will talk to them, and then we will find you and talk to you. If it is serious then they will be banned (a "red card") and you will get a warning (a "yellow card"). If you are not there, we will contact you after the event. If we can’t make contact with you, neither of you will be welcome back in future.

Will I get kicked out if my PAL misbehaves?
You might. It depends on the situation. And even if you don't get kicked out, you're likely to be given a warning which could affect your chance to attend future parties. So please be sure you can trust your PAL to follow the code of conduct!

What if I am new in town, single and don’t know anyone?
Kinky Salon London holds regular social get-togethers. These may provide you with an opportunity to meet other partygoers in real life as well as offering your services as a volunteer. Please do not ask members of the crew to PAL you if they don’t already know you. Do not scout around on Facebook, Fetlife or other social spaces for PALs and do not ask other people on the web to match-make you with potential PALs. Meeting people on the internet so you can get in to Kinky Salon can be problematic because you don’t know if you can trust them. You MUST know and trust your PAL in real life in advance.

Why all this fuss around PAL rules?
Please remember that Kinky Salon is run entirely by volunteers in their spare time. We organise Kinky Salon because we love the parties, not because we love admin… So we prefer that you buy your tickets in pairs (or threes) for yourself and your PAL(s) and that you tell us at the time of purchase who they are going to be. Just fill out their details on the ticket-buying form.